Wednesday, November 21, 2007

My love language....

I don't know if the readers of this blog has read the book "The five love languages" by Gary Chapman - but just in case you haven't it talks about five expressions of love and it explains how to identify and communicate effectivley in a spouse's "love language". To sum up what the five are, they are as follows:
  1. Quality time
  2. Words of affirmation
  3. Gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch
Being one who has been part of developing a relationship course and running marriage seminars , this is one of the books which was a "must" to read. The fact that others had read it and "had their lives transformed" as the doors were opened to their understanding of their own needs and wants from a spouse, and had amazing revelations when they realised what their partner needed and wanted, meant that my expectations were rather high before I sat down and read the book.
This happened a while back, a couple of years ago now I believe...but I have never really been settle about this topic since. For as I was reading the book I thought, I need this, I want that...etc. So, much so, that at the end I though I must be the most demanding woman ever - for I must have not one love language, not two love languages, but FIVE love languages!! Because I liked and needed them ALL!!!
Talking to my dear husband about this did not help greatly, he just put on his "ever suffering expression" and said "imagine what my life is like, having to live with this". So, realising that he was just using it to his advantage and for gaining sympathy I did not consult him anymore.
But now, finally the breakthrough has come, I have realised after a lot of soul searching what my primary love language is...
PHYSICAL TOUCH
I know I need the others too, but if it is one thing I could not be without it is hugs and affection shown in a physical way. So, for people who love me - the best way to show it is through a hug!
- but that does not mean that I won't appreciate a small gift this Christmas along with the hug ;-p

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My Father's 70...
the past august my father turned 70th and as a present my and my sisters gave him and my mum a weekend trip to England joined by us girls and husbands. So, with the ten kids we have between us left behind at home (with decent babysitters, just for those of you who were worried..), we set of early Friday morning.
Arrival in England was at 8 o'clock in the morning, so, it was time for both a visit to Leeds castle and a quick stop in Canterbury before heading off to our B&B. The B&B was a lovely old manor house.
Victor and myself got to sleep in a 400 year old four-poster bed (this only happened after Victor had reassured me that the mattress was NOT 400 years old!!)


Saturday we went sightseeing into London, since my father with all his visits to this amazing country, has never ever actually been to this buzzing capital!

Sunday we finished off the trip with a quick stop by at Thurrock lakeside shopping centre before heading off to Stanstead and back home to cold and icy Norway... :-)

It was an excellent trip. The first trip together as adults of the family since the offspring's started popping out a few years ago...

What I have been contemplating ever since my dad's birthday in August though, is the concept of age...just a couple of days after my dad's birthday I myself, turned 35. Time goes so quickly. I see my kids starting school and growing up. More grey hairs appearing for each time I glance into the mirror (never spend too long, looking too closely these days..). More weariness and tiredness. Where does youth, energy and enthusiasm go?? Maybe the answer is simply this: "Gryne, get your butt out of the sofa, start exercising and cut down on the chocolate intake!". This would at lease help on the energy front :-)

I have also come up with some advantages of getting older (for me at least):
  • I have realised and accepted my shortcomings (and to be honest and not make things up..)
  • I have realised and accepted my strengths (this took a lot of work...)
  • These two in turn have made me more confident and better both in my work and privately
  • I am actually happy with who I am (most of the time at least :-))
  • I am happy with what I have achieved so far in life
  • I have a wonderful husband which means no stressing trying to find the perfect partner
  • I have three healthy, great kids
  • I am more open and relaxed
  • I am in a different place now to what and where I was 15 years ago ;-)